The other day I took a road trip to South Africa via Linking Africa coach. We left at 10am and were immediately served with hot lunch which i kept but which some guy quickly helped himself too, found much needed strength and kept the bus entertained until Mwanza border post, some 1 hour+ away. Once we entered Mozambique, he slept like a baby while we chewed on our now cold chips and chicken!! I now saw the sense in his madness.
Anyway with him quietly sleeping away I thought I was in for a peaceful ride until the next border post. Nope! The hostess decided it was time to watch a Naija (Nigerian) movie titled Billionaire’s Club. Now am not one to watch a west african movie but the view of the dense thicket outside the window was not that exciting either. Coupled with all the shouting and screaming associated with Naija movies, I was forced to watch. Now check this out, the Mozambique stretch is some 3 – 4 hours and I tell you the movie dragged through all this time until we got to the Zimbabwe border where the film seemed to end. After the border formalities we left and guess what? The hostess slotted in a movie conveniently titled Billionaire’s Club Part 2!!! SOMEONE PLEASE SHOOT ME!!!! Well, at least throw me off the bus!! I can’t stand this any longer. If I had hair, I tell you I would have arrived in Harare bold. And boy did the second part drag as much as the first part. Luckily the film ended before Harare, after that we slept and woke up at the South African border. From there we were entertained to some Malawian music video’s, which was okay, to say it mildly. After our stay, we gladly jumped back on the Linking Africa coach and guess what movie they put in?? Take one good guess. Yup! Yup! PLEASE SHOOT ME!!! PLEEEEAAASSE!!
I took that trip some 2 years and would have imagined that with time Nollywood would have matured from long dragging films, screaming, shouting and the large number of people who turn into snakes and other strange creatures. Nope! 3 days ago I happened ‘to catch’ the last 40 minutes of a Naija film. Boy oh boy! Shock horror!! No difference at all. But you should have seen the lady I found watching the film. She was over the moon and must have wished the 3 hour long movie had not come to an end.